Mad skills

Fia Madrona Rose MaGillicutty is living up to her name. Fia is Italian for fire. She told us about her latest transgressions this weekend, with her bottom lip flattened and turned down - and not a smidge of regret in her eyes. She colored on the wall with crayons and her momma was very mad at her. She told her if she was a spanker momma, her bum would be lit up like a Christmas tree, but she was not a spanker momma so Fia had to help clean up her mess instead. Fia did help clean up and she did mention she would not do that particular bad thing again. Any time soon. But she also said that she hoped her momma wouldn't be bad again either, so she didn't have to become a spanker Fia. She doesn't like to dish out punishment to angry mommas, but a girl has to do what a girl has to do. She is a powerful little 2 year old wad of feisty sass.

Postings lately have been about relationship - a vital, necessary component of well being. In Fia's story, we have an example of natural consequences vs. punishment. Discipline is teaching, not just punishment. Since there is no such thing as human intimacy without conflict, healthy relationship requires mad skills, huge commitment, tremendous humor, calm acceptance without assumption or judgement and deep generosity to maintain just one. And that doesn't even describe the skill it takes to parent little power houses like Fia. Most of us have to negotiate many, many relationsips - internally with ourselves, with all our loved ones, with co-workers, and with the public. The best overall approach is to be willing to live in truth, self correct, limit expectations, appreciate deeply, attack problems not people, rely on natural consequences and clear positive behavioral requests when making change requests - and to stay grateful. Here's wishing you the commitment to develop some mad skills. XOXO