Pick your battles

So we were talking this morning about something I can't even recall. I was sipping my coffee in bed. Without a word, Dan opened the window wider, removed the screen, hopped up on a chair, then a tabletop and climbed out onto the roof. It's a pretty steep roof. He was wearing nothing but his sleeping shorts - elastic waist, red plaid cotton. I heard thump thump thumping but by the time I looked out, he was nowhere to be seen. I started remembering a John Prine song about a guy who woke up one morning, slipped in his kitchen and died. "And Oh what a feeling when my soul went through the ceiling, and on up into heaven I did ride". Figured the mystery would eventually be solved and since I hadn't heard any really alarming noises, I went about getting my morning together. Have to say I was glad when he reappeared and did the window routine in reverse. Huh. That sort of thing doesn't happen every day - but more often than you'd think. In the past, I'd have been really really angry that he would just do something like that without telling me before hand. The roof was slick with rain and we're getting too old for stuff like that.

Mystery solved, but I had to ask. He was heading to the shower without a word of explanation when he got back in. Really. I felt my head cock at that angle Jake dog uses when he's trying so hard to understand us. Once he told me, "Duh". It's been raining a lot, the gutters were full of leaves and were dumping water at the edges of the house. There was damp in the corners of the basement this morning when he went down to the laundry room. So he crawled out the bedroom window in skivvies in the rain and shoved the leaves out of the gutters. Did what he had do and cheerfully went on about his day with no further comment. No surprise there. It's who he is and I do admire that about him. Earlier in our relationship, though, we would have argued about his failure to telegraph intentions, reckless climbing, my worry for him. But really, it didn't even bother me over much. I like being surprised after 30 years of marriage. It's actually pretty fabulous. Wishing you mysteries, where with all to do what needs to be done without complaint, patience, wisdom to pick your battles and quiet, calm acceptance of the answers. XOXOXO