Good enough

I tend to be a little slow on the uptake. Live in the moment, think about it later. So I've been thinking about being a mother two days after the day that celebrates it. It is way too easy to feel like a failure if you're a mom. If I could have been as good at motherhood as I wanted to be - if the job done could exactly mirror how much I love my children and grandchildren, I'd deserve nothing less than total, fall on your knees worship. Wasn't nearly that good and I deeply appreciate the fact, for everybody's sake. If I'd had it my way, I'd have been the perfect mother, and my children would all be emotional cripples. All we need to do is good enough, so long as we strive to self correct and offer our best as often as humanly possible. Even at mothering. People need adversity to overcome so they develop skills and then confidence in their skills. Make it too easy, you get spoiled, bored snot bombs. My children are all well balanced human beings because I was NOT the perfect mother. They have so much to thank me for. Seriously. Hear that girls? Certainly, abuse, neglect, trauma etc. are not even remotely good enough. But flawed with good intentions spit shined with an inhuman amount of effort? That is so very very good enough. And the only flavor mothers come in. Thank goodness.

So we all have, or had at one time, what seemed to be all powerful, should know better mothers. Should we have expected things to be fair? Should we have expected to be safe? Should we have expected our loved ones to know what we wanted and needed and do their best to provide it? Should we expect all that now? Being human, surrounded by other less than perfect humans in a society created by humans? Nope. I don't think so. I really think we should strive for all that - in ourselves and in one another - and far more. And expect none of it. Be grateful when we get some semblance of it, strive to create it whenever we can and hope for good enough. I wish you good enough. XOXO