You think you know

Fia, who turned 2 in January, put her forehead on mine, both little hands on the sides of my face, and nose to nose told me "You are my favorite Abuela."  That sort of magic can do me for weeks. Having her 3 year old brother and family right here instead of on the West Coast, I get baby magic now almost every day.  Really, really lovely stuff, that baby magic.

So, relaxation breathing - the opposite of anxious - is another sort of magic.  Some of you already do know how to breathe for relaxation.  If you've taken yoga or voice lessons or just watched your child napping, you know the real action happens in the belly, not the chest.  But for most adults, a deep breath is heaving your ribs open with chest and shoulder muscles.  That is not conducive to a real, deep breath.  We best operate our lungs with our diaphram, which is a muscle that sits below the lungs and works like a fire place bellows.  When you breathe in, you are actually stretching that muscle, pulling air into the bottom of your lungs; when you breathe out, you tighten it and force the air out. 

Steps to breathing for relaxation:  1.  Drop your shoulders, loosen your neck muscles, think of your arms like noodles and imagine your body is loose like a rag doll (but not falling out of your chair).  2.  Slowly pull air into your lungs by loosening your diaphram muscle.  Your belly should fill up like a balloon as you do a slow count of 1001, 1002, 1003.  3.  Tighten the diaphram for the out breath which should be longer.  Count 1001, 1002, 1003, 1004 before you end the breath.  Your chest only expands a lttle at the end of the breath because you're filling your lungs from the bottom up. Your neck and shoulder muscles should get looser as you breathe out, and there should be a quiet pause between the in and out breath. 

Try to do that belly breathing all day long.  Shoot for 10 times a day, every hour.  Take at least three slow belly breaths every time you think about it - more if you can.  Try for a second to focus on the quiet between breaths.  It keeps you in your body and keeps you from reving up and staying nervous.  It's best to practice when things are "normal".  Trying to calm yourself once you're in a panic is sort of like trying to ride a bicycle for the first time on an interstate highway.  Won't turn out well for you.  Believe it or not, this breathing for relaxation takes practice like everything else we've talked about so far. Breathe like you know how to do it.  All day long.  And are you still writing the gratitude things?  XO